Intent…? Energy…? Entitlement? .. what goes behind a move or touch?
Aye, there’s the rub.
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Writer/Producer/Director a.k.a Storyteller. Spiritual woo-woo Catholic, incurable romantic, ambivert, emotionally courageous , lover of life…. True statement from kindergarten report card:" Patty's very social"… Contradictions in my nature have to come out somewhere…
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I’m often quite grateful I’m not a parent in this day and age. I really can’t imagine the pressure parent’s are under to navigate social media, copious unrealistic sex portrayed in entertainment, increased violence in media, cyber bullying and a pop culture littered with Kardashians and Miley Cyrus… Yes, I’m aware I sound like an old woman.
I posted this on Facebook. And it caused quite a few discussions amongst my girlfriends. It made me think a lot about how girls dress these days, the messages they send and receive in media & pop culture and how the male population perceives them.
And this is a billboard I pass on one of the main thoroughfares where I live. Study it closely before you think it’s just another add for a nudie/titty bar and who cares. Catch the end of the line?“…And 3 ugly ones”.
It’s not easy being a girl (or woman) and never has been. Everyone knows our collective history – we’ve been coveted objects and property, and in some parts of the world we still are. But to me, a woman being objectified is worse than being property, because it completely negates our intellectual value. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a girly-girl I like dressing up and being pretty; I love shopping, clothes, makeup and high heels – Love it all! So this rant doesn’t come from an anti-femininity standpoint: it comes from a place of wanting all women and girls to have the right to be pretty or beautiful by their own standards and not have to worry about how men will perceive and handle it. I mean, really – “three ugly ones”?! So you can point and laugh at them? Who was the judge anyway? But most importantly, where does the audacity come from to say that?!
So I have to ask: What are we teaching boys? If it’s left to the media and pop culture are we telling them that women are only worth their beauty and sexual appeal? That as men, they are expected to grow into guys who are not expected to control their urges and act like animals? That they’re “poor, baseless natures” are not expected to do anything else in the presence of a beautiful woman except drool and have sex with her? Forget her intelligence just focus on her tits? That’s the shame that both of those pictures bring to mind. The shame of our society: that as we’ve increased in knowledge and technology, thus making our lives more efficient and accessible, we’ve decreased in sensitivity to our fellow human beings… and in this particular example those fellow human beings are women (I’ll save race relations for another blog).
I’m not a parent, so I will not get on the soapbox about parenting. Everyone knows that attentive parenting can navigate this crazy world. But I will get on my soapbox about media and pop culture -as much as I love it, I can’t say I like the messages it sends. Whereas the focus should be about empowering young people, male or female, to stand in their power as intelligent individuals with beauty coming from the inside out, now more than ever the message is beauty comes from the outside in. So no matter what beauty lay inside it is completely shamed into nonexistence by pop cultures ever changing mood thus reducing pretty people, especially women, into objects of desire.
I wish I knew how to start a thought revolution so that even with the existence of copious unrealistic sex in media, nudie and titty bars we could dial down the objectifying of women… but I don’t have a clue how to start the revolution. All I can hope and pray for are good parents who are leading their children through the maze of sex, media, Miley Cyrus, the Kardashians, violence in the streets and the double speak of the religious right. All I can hope for is that the young woman sent home because her clothing distracted boys from heir studies, decided that despite the plethora of emotions she was feeling, shame would not be one of them… and that at least 85 of the 100 “beautiful girls” and all three of the “ugly ones” are using their income to pay for college and become doctors, lawyers, educators and business owners.